I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go

Sometimes, things don't turn out quite the way you expect. In fact, sometimes they become the exact opposite of what you originally intended.

Every year, there are birds that nest right underneath the shingles of the roof of my house. Mother birds are not very motherly, I've discovered. Every year, we find several dead baby birds on the sidewalk, because their mothers have pushed them out of the nest far too early. Lucky for me, I don't have parents like this. Even when I jumped out of the nest early all by myself, and barely made it back alive, they still welcome me back with open arms until I'm ready to take off again. This time with stronger wings.

Let's recap, shall we? My college-life plan in a series:
Freshman year of high school: Dixie for two years, then BYU.
Sophomore year of high school: Dixie for two years, then BYU.
Junior year of high school: Dixie for two years, then BYU.
Beginning of senior year: Dixie for two years, then BYU.
Two months before graduation: Utah State University. Wait----WHAT?! How did that just happen?!

Freshman year of college: Hey! Logan's pretty nice! This might be cool, maybe I could stay here for four years!

Driving away from Logan at the end of freshman year: Why does it feel like I'm never coming back?

Summer between freshman and sophomore year: Well, Dixie could be okay for a semester! But then I'm going back!

Month before sophomore year: Well... I guess Dixie would be okay for a whole year... Anyway, I could save money for AFRICA!!!

Three weeks into sophomore year: Okay... the Africa group jacked up the prices... Maybe I'm not going to Africa... So, instead....

ECUADOR?!

Stay tuned, ladies and gentlemen. The Lord is teaching me another lesson in flexibility. What does this mean? This means I have no idea where I'll be in eight months, let alone 3 years! But that's okay! I've decided I kind of like it that way. (All right, I don't love it. But I just said I kinda liked it. So I'm not lying.) It definitely makes life more of an adventure, I'll be honest. Isn't adventure what I'm looking for, anyway? 

So... Whether I'm in Africa, Ecuador, or Kentucky this summer, I really will be happy with it. Because at this point? I feel like I'm pretty good at figuring out where I need to be, and where I need not be. (However temporary my confidence in that decision is.)

Author's note: Kentucky is not, nor has it ever been, on my list of possible adventures. If I have jinxed myself to Kentucky-hood with this post you are allowed to laugh at me for the rest of eternity.

Luckily, I have the most supportive parents in the whole world. Seriously. Throughout this whole process they've been there giving me quiet encouragement, drying my tears of frustration, and telling me not to turn my back on things too quickly. When I first decided to go to USU, my parents were not happy. But when they found out how excited I was, they helped me out. And when I started having a hard time? They were there for me then, too. When I, their youngest daughter, told them I wanted to go to Africa for a few months on a humanitarian trip, I could tell that they thought (and desperately hoped!) that I would give up the idea soon enough. When they figured out how much I really wanted to go, they pretended to be excited for me, while still stressing like crazy on the inside. This week, when I cried because I figured out there would be no way for me to raise all the money for the much more costly Africa trip? They told me not to give up. "Don't turn your back on it yet. And keep looking for other things. You'll find something." With parents like mine, I know I'll learn to fly someday. I'm just a slow learner.

Auntie.

Kathryn Fae Denton

February 24, 2012

I'm an auntie now. 

It's the greatest thing of my whole life. Even better than hamburgers. And the new Ben & Jerry's flavor. 

My dad makes a cute grandpapa, yes? I think so. :-)

And my sister is stunning as "Mommy".

I'll be honest, we all dote on little Kate. How could we not?!

I am so excited to be Kate's aunt. I probably won't be the favorite aunt...

...But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying to be, anyway. ;-)

Why I Am the Way I Am.

This post has been in the works for a long time. It's a very important subject to me, so I've had a really hard time expressing my thoughts about it. The person I am most like in this world, the one from whom I get the majority of my personality, is my father. I don't know why I have found it so difficult to express myself on the subject of my dad, but the past couple of weeks have made me even more grateful for him. Three of the closest friends I made in Europe no longer have their dads here to hug and talk to face-to-face... It made me think a lot. It made me miss my dad even more (and my mom).

What traits do I get from my dad? Only the best and the most difficult. And a lot in between. For instance:

-We're both incredibly stubborn. Especially when we know we're right. Like when someone's not coming to church for a stupid reason, or someone is keeping others from progressing.
-While we can both do fine being with people when needed, solitude is golden. Especially in the mountains.
-Attention is not the favorite thing in massive groups of people.
-Fishing is one of the most relaxing things in the world.
-Green. I realized on my last fishing trip with my dad that we both love the color green for the same reason. Wild grass and aspens, man. Who couldn't love green up in the mountains? (Or in Europe, we've discovered)
-70's Rock. His love for it has infected me.
-His love for the mountains, and hiking in those same mountains, has definitely been passed to me.
-Sometimes it's easier just to give up something we want rather than have to explain it to someone else. That doesn't mean we won't be disappointed when it doesn't happen.
-We both sunburn super easy. (Pretty sure we both burned when we went fishing for my 16th birthday in the rain. Do you sunburn in the rain? Probably not.)
-For being so short, we can both be rather aggressive.
-At the same time, though, we both hate confrontation.
-We both love spending time together. But we're both incredibly busy. Sometimes it takes sacrifices to spend time together. One summer, my dad watched an entire Dickens mini-series with me. (It was about 10 hours)
-As a result, we both like British movies. (Although his have more requirements than mine do.)
-We both misplace things a lot. (The difference being that he usually finds the things he's looking for eventually)
-We both hate talking on the phone.
My father is an incredible man. Sometimes, we're more alike than I'd like to be. But then I realize what an honor it is to be like him. It may make it a little bit harder to get along with each other all of the time, but the other times are what make it so worth it.

There are some traits of my dads that didn't quite make it to me, but I sure wish they had:

-His steady hands. (Being a dentist, it's pretty important for him.)
-His impression of Mrs. Bennett from the five-hour Pride & Prejudice. It's pretty brilliant.
-His impression of Hagrid from the Harry Potter books read by Jim Dale.
-His patience. (When it's necessary.)
-His ability to tell stories.
-His ability to turn every story into a spiritual one.
-His sense of direction.
-His running ability.
-His wisdom.
-His ability to cook. (i.e. baking, grilling, cooking in general)

I love my father very much. I love spending time with him. I love listening to his stories. When I was little, I used to insist that I was going to marry my dad. While my views on that have changed quite a bit, there are many things that my dad does that will be very important to me when looking for a husband, I think. (Don't worry, that will be in a very long time.) My father's influence has made me who I am.

Now I'm moving away. I'm moving to a place I've only visited once. A place my father doesn't want me to go. I think he's going to miss me. But not as much as I'm going to miss him.

There aren't loads of pictures of me and my dad on this computer. But I feel like this one pretty much explains us. He's always teaching me something. Sometimes (most of the time), he has to teach me more than once.

What's it called when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie? I always seem to forget...

All right, I'm not gonna lie. (I'm a pretty blunt person, so I don't usually lie, anyway.) I'm getting sick of the whole thirty-day challenge thing. Today is day three. I realize I have a very short attention span, but this is just ridiculous! My goal is to do at least ten of the thirty days. That's realistic, right? I certainly hope so.

Day 3: Your first love. First love? Me? Wow. Where do I start? I am seventeen years old. I've had a lot of first loves. (Not the way you're thinking, though, I'll bet.) In my opinion, every person experiences hundreds of "first loves" in their lifetimes. Every love is a first love, in its own way. While not all first loves are people, some do end up lasting for a lifetime.

When I was three, I realized I had a love for books, and for sounding out words. Around the same time, I realized I loved mashed potatoes. (Both of these loves have lasted through my ages, by the way.) When I was five, I was in a Sunday school class with all boys. One Sunday, we had a lesson on temple marriage. One of the little boys proclaimed to the class: "Someday, I'm going to marry Lisa!" I did not like that one bit. My reply? "Nuh-uh! I'm going to marry my Daddy!" Needless to say, I've always been a bit of a daddy's girl. When I was nine, I fell in love with the feeling of reeling in a fish by myself. At the age of ten I became infatuated with all the heroes of Jane Austen's novels, and the movies that accompanied them, along with countless other classy British men. In ninth grade I discovered the act of singing alto. At fifteen I fell for the sky, and I've never really been the same since. I've always had an immense love for rain, as well. I don't think any single thing has answered my most heartfelt of prayers as many times as rain has. At sixteen I found a renewed love for independence, as often comes with obtaining a driver's license. And at my current age of seventeen, I've fallen in love with the feeling of wet clay between my fingers, walking around with only socks on my feet, and the beautiful campus of Utah State University. Somewhere along the way, I fell in love with laughter, with ice cream, with friendships, and somehow I even learned to love myself.

Every person has a list like this. The list goes on forever and ever... You can't possibly list all of the things you love. But sometimes it's a very good thing to try. That way, you can realize just how grateful you are, or how grateful you should be. Tender mercies are everywhere, and they come out in the things you love. I love the Lord. I know He's watching out for me. He sends me blessings every day, and I'm so very grateful.

1 Nephi 1:20: "...the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."

We have all been chosen. It's just a matter of finding the faith to acknowledge the tender mercies the Lord is sending our way.

Doctrine & Covenants 58:18-21:
"18. Yea, all things which come of the earth, in the season thereof, are made for the benefit and the use of man, both to please they eye and to gladden the heart;
19. Yea, for food and for raiment, for taste and for smell, to strenthen the body and to enliven the soul.
20. And it pleaseth God that he hath given all these things unto man; for unto this end were they made to be used, with judgment, not to excess, neither by extortion.
21. And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments."

I love these verses so very much. Like I said earlier, the sky and rain have served as answers to prayer more times than I can even count. This scripture helps me know that I'm not crazy for thinking of it that way. Verse 21 gives me the chills. Having and showing gratitude is so important. I really wish I could remember that all the time. I'm working on it, though. And I'm not working on it alone. :-)