I Will Not Be Still

Last week, I went to the baptism of a friend of mine. She is eight years old, and quite possibly the funniest person I have ever met in my life. Before this experience, I hadn't been to a "live" baptism in years. It was such an amazing experience. I don't think I've ever been so excited for someone else. My face was seriously about to split from the huge smile that wouldn't go away. Right before her dad baptized her, he came up to her older brother (who was sitting next to me at the time) and asked him if he wanted to come be a witness. The look on my dear friend's face as he walked up to witness his baby sister's baptism was so priceless... Watching a family have this experience, it was amazing! It got me so fired up!

More and more of my dear friends (and some that aren't quite so dear) have been receiving their mission calls, becoming elders, and submitting their papers. I'm feeling a little bit of mission-envy. But it's all right! I can definitely wait three more years. Less than that, now, actually! Every time I see one of  "my boys" preparing for or leaving for a mission, it makes me happier than almost anything else. I honestly am having a hard time containing my excitement for them. One of my best friends is submitting his papers next week... I went to the temple with said friend this week, and I felt a huge surge of joy as he was talking about it. He just became an elder, and he's even more excited about it than I am. (Which is saying a lot!)

There's this song that I rediscovered on an old EFY cd this week. It's been getting under my skin. I love this gospel. It makes me happy. Doesn't that mean I'm supposed to share it? It doesn't matter if I can't express my thoughts well. He'll help me out, if I try!

I've never been the kind to testify,
I don't have the words his truth deserves.
But it's a simple thing he asks:
A worthy heart and willing hands.
He says if I'll make the choice,
He'll help me find my voice.

He calls me to serve and I cannot fail him,
The one who has given me all that I have.
I place my trust in him alone,
He knows the yearnings of my soul.
Because he believes in me,
I will go willingly...

How can I keep this gift to myself
When I can lift somebody else?
I am a witness of his miracles and his mercy
I put my future in his hands
Knowing he's made me all I am
When I put my faith in him, the truth begins to
speak
His power is real; it moves me until I will not be
still

Lifting the hands that hang down in sorrow
Strengthening knees that bend in despair
Reaching the hopeless hearts who do not know His love
Seeing their lives begin to change
I know I'll never be the same

How can I keep this gift to myself
When I can lift somebody else?
I'll be a witness of his miracles and his mercy
I put my future in his hands
Knowing he's made me all I am
I put my faith in him, and truth begins to
speak
His power is real; it moves me until
I will not be still.

His power is real.
I trust in his will.
I will not be still.

Sure, I'm a little jealous that my male friends get to put their papers in already. But just because I have to wait a couple of years before I go on a full-time mission, that doesn't mean I can't start sharing the news now. "How can I keep this gift to myself?" I can't.

It may be cheesy, but I really am so excited.

Why I Am the Way I Am.

This post has been in the works for a long time. It's a very important subject to me, so I've had a really hard time expressing my thoughts about it. The person I am most like in this world, the one from whom I get the majority of my personality, is my father. I don't know why I have found it so difficult to express myself on the subject of my dad, but the past couple of weeks have made me even more grateful for him. Three of the closest friends I made in Europe no longer have their dads here to hug and talk to face-to-face... It made me think a lot. It made me miss my dad even more (and my mom).

What traits do I get from my dad? Only the best and the most difficult. And a lot in between. For instance:

-We're both incredibly stubborn. Especially when we know we're right. Like when someone's not coming to church for a stupid reason, or someone is keeping others from progressing.
-While we can both do fine being with people when needed, solitude is golden. Especially in the mountains.
-Attention is not the favorite thing in massive groups of people.
-Fishing is one of the most relaxing things in the world.
-Green. I realized on my last fishing trip with my dad that we both love the color green for the same reason. Wild grass and aspens, man. Who couldn't love green up in the mountains? (Or in Europe, we've discovered)
-70's Rock. His love for it has infected me.
-His love for the mountains, and hiking in those same mountains, has definitely been passed to me.
-Sometimes it's easier just to give up something we want rather than have to explain it to someone else. That doesn't mean we won't be disappointed when it doesn't happen.
-We both sunburn super easy. (Pretty sure we both burned when we went fishing for my 16th birthday in the rain. Do you sunburn in the rain? Probably not.)
-For being so short, we can both be rather aggressive.
-At the same time, though, we both hate confrontation.
-We both love spending time together. But we're both incredibly busy. Sometimes it takes sacrifices to spend time together. One summer, my dad watched an entire Dickens mini-series with me. (It was about 10 hours)
-As a result, we both like British movies. (Although his have more requirements than mine do.)
-We both misplace things a lot. (The difference being that he usually finds the things he's looking for eventually)
-We both hate talking on the phone.
My father is an incredible man. Sometimes, we're more alike than I'd like to be. But then I realize what an honor it is to be like him. It may make it a little bit harder to get along with each other all of the time, but the other times are what make it so worth it.

There are some traits of my dads that didn't quite make it to me, but I sure wish they had:

-His steady hands. (Being a dentist, it's pretty important for him.)
-His impression of Mrs. Bennett from the five-hour Pride & Prejudice. It's pretty brilliant.
-His impression of Hagrid from the Harry Potter books read by Jim Dale.
-His patience. (When it's necessary.)
-His ability to tell stories.
-His ability to turn every story into a spiritual one.
-His sense of direction.
-His running ability.
-His wisdom.
-His ability to cook. (i.e. baking, grilling, cooking in general)

I love my father very much. I love spending time with him. I love listening to his stories. When I was little, I used to insist that I was going to marry my dad. While my views on that have changed quite a bit, there are many things that my dad does that will be very important to me when looking for a husband, I think. (Don't worry, that will be in a very long time.) My father's influence has made me who I am.

Now I'm moving away. I'm moving to a place I've only visited once. A place my father doesn't want me to go. I think he's going to miss me. But not as much as I'm going to miss him.

There aren't loads of pictures of me and my dad on this computer. But I feel like this one pretty much explains us. He's always teaching me something. Sometimes (most of the time), he has to teach me more than once.